OK, so this is my last blog about weight loss. Why you ask? Because I have decided to just accept that I am fat and that is my life. Yeah, I know it sounds bad that I am saying this but really it is not. Why? Because since I have made this decision, it has boosted my self esteem and my sex drive. Just by forgetting that I am trying to diet and lose weight all the time, I have helped myself so much!! I have decided that I had become so concerned with losing weight, letting people down for not losing weight and just the number on the scale that I forgot to live and enjoy life as it is right now. Now I am not just going to gorge myself on junk food and sit on the couch all day. My new goals are to watch what I eat and consciously think about what I eat, also to exercise for 30 minutes at least 3 days a week. Or even 5 days a week when possible. I really don't think these are unreasonable expectations of myself. If I am treating myself well such as through my food and exercise and am still overweight, then I will have to just accept that it is just in my genes to be fat.
What has brought about this mentality change you ask, it all started with me finally finding the right size bra for me. I discovered that I was 38DDD. Yeah, I said it DDD. I figured this out at Fashion Bug in Mason City. After that I went to Lane Bryant to get more bras that fit me. (It's amazing how a good fitting bra can change one's whole out look on life.) At Lane Bryant, they gave me a free figure magazine. I took it home and read the whole thing. It was great to read and look through a magazine that wasn't full of hot, sexy, skinny people. It was full of hot, sexy, fat women. All who looked gorgeous. That got me thinking about how sexy I could be if I just stopped thinking about how fat I was and how much I have to lose, and started thinking about how I can live healthy and not worry about my weight. I also found a great thing from one of the articles or maybe it was on the magazines website - If you haven't checked it out yet, I would recommend checking out fatrant.com or looking up Fat Rant on YouTube. It is a great video. It is all about "fat acceptance" and accepting yourself for who you are. So instead of beating myself up for not losing weight, for not exercising, or for eating what ever crap I choose to eat. I am just going to celebrate life and live it right now. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone and there is no reason I should continue to worry about my weight. I am going to work more on being healthy and loving myself, rather than my Biggest Loser style weight loss that I have been planning forever and not doing.
