Success!!

So far at least! I didn't keep very good track of my success last week, but this week has been awesome. I have gotten 7 stickers since the beginning of Dec. I have also lost 5 lbs since last week. I am down to 202. I hope to be down another 5 lbs next week. We will see how I do on my consistency for this week. I have gotten 3 stickers the last two days but they haven't been for the same goals. My goal this week is to get 3 stickers every day. We'll see how it goes. Next report soon!!

Losing weight for now!

Ok, I think I have finally hit rock bottom. Thank God!!! I can actually get started on my true weight loss journey. Last night, I went out with a few of Josh's friends. We went to the new club downtown (which I must say is awesome). It has a regular bar atmosphere side and also a nightclub side. We spent most of the night on the night club side. Which is where I had my realization. One of the girls I was dancing with was super skinny and the other was not small but not huge by any means. Then there was me. With my big ass. (Yes this post may get a little down on myself, but that's ok. I am now working to change that.) In this club, they have mirrors on one side. Which for me was a good thing. I kept looking at them while I danced. As I was looking in the mirror I actually had a realization. Usually when I look in the mirror (I have reverse anorexia) - if I am wearing something that I think looks good on me, I think of myself smaller than I am. But last night, I didn't. I still thought my outfit was cute, but I actually looked FAT. Yes, I said it, I looked FAT!!! So now I have decided I really need to work on my weight issues. I have never been thin, and that's not what I am going for now. I just want to look good, sexy and fun when I go out dancing. I love to go to the club and dance. Not so much drink, but I love to dance. Yes, I understand I am a white girl and I am rhythmically challenged, but I still love to go out an dance. I want to look good when I do it. I know you shouldn't compare yourself to anyone else, but I think that is what I need to do to get me started, at least until I start seeing results.

Now that I have my plan in place and have hit rock bottom, I think I will be able to achieve my goals. Sure, I could have achieved my goals before, but I think for anyone to truly change it takes them reaching a rock bottom or having a huge epiphany about their goal and where they are starting from. They also need to have a real want to achieve the goal. I have that new want. I want to look good when I go out dancing, not afraid of what everyone is saying about that FAT ass out dancing.

So I have a new motivation for my weight loss. Yes, I am still losing weight for a million other reasons, I have finally realized why I really want to lose weight. The other reasons are all for the future, this reason is for now. I want to look good on the dance floor at the club. I know we will be going out more often and each time I want to look my best. I want to be able to dress in "slut" clothes by this summer and actually have a right to wear those clothes. Right now, I do not have that right.

If anyone wants to join my in my journey, feel free to comment back. Thanks for reading my incredibly long post. But this is what I needed.