Well, last night I joined Jillian Michaels website. Yes, it does cost a little more than SparkPeople, but I thought maybe having other people who like Jillian as much as I respect her will help me. I also think that having Jillian there reminding when I start to think I am going to fall off the wagon.

On Jillian's website one of the message boards mentioned Jillian Michaels School of Fitness. I read a little more about it and decided this may be what I have been looking for. I know I have tried about a million different ideas of how I will keep myself motivated. This is one that I actually understand and makes a lot of since to me. It is not about counting stickers and all that jazz. It is all about grades. That is something I understand and strive for. I remember when I graduated from college I was so sad that I wasn't going to get a grade any more. Granted, these grades are going to be harder to earn than any other class I have taken.

Here is the curriculum - I am planning to participate in as much as I can.

Weekly Assignment: Listen to Jillian's weekly Podcast (I already listened to this week's podcast, and have many in reserve. I may even put them on my iPod to listen at the gym or on my drive to work.)

Daily Assignment: Today's Work Out (Everyday a new workout is listed on my start page.)

Extra Credit:
1. Research a topic in the Archive (still have to figure out where this is)
2. Do 30 - 40 minutes additional cardio (got this done today)

Study Group: Find a Buddy, Communicate & Post (have yet to find a buddy, there are a few people in Marion that I may try to join)

Math: BMI, Calorie Calculator, Caloric Percentages (didn't track calories, but recalulated my BMI (31.5) with my new height- apparently I shrank from the last time I was at the doctor.)

Extracurricular: Set a short term, Mid term & Long term goal and reward. Make it fun!

TEST: Friday weigh in! Let's see how much you really learned -


-3 to 5 pounds = A+
-2 pounds =A
-1 pounds = A-
-0 pounds = B (Review and Retest Next Week)
+1 pounds = C (Did you forget to study?)
+2 pounds = D (Did you cheat?)
+3 pounds = F (It's okay, but time to go back to basics)

Weekly Homework: The Biggest Loser Couples Episode

Show & Tell: Post some of your favorite tips, tricks, recipes, and successes! Tell something you have learned from Jillian, and about yourself this week.

Finally something I understand- GRADES!!!!!

My grade for today: C as of right now.
- got 20 mins of cardio in
-have not gotten my other workout in
-watched biggest loser
-listened to Jillian's podcast
-didn't track my calories
-have not set my various goals
-did recalculate my BMI

Frustrated!

Well, I weighed in again this morning and I am down 1 lb this week. Problem is I don't know what I did to cause it. I didn't track my calories, didn't exercise much this week. I ate out quite a bit. I know I am thinking more about healthier choices when out to eat, but I don't always make the better choices. I know I should be happy with a loss, but I am so frustrated because I don't know what to continue to continue the weight loss. Ok, enough whining. Maybe I need to take my measurements for some more encouragement. Back to trying to be consistent this week with exercise. I will exercise at least 5 times this week.

Quick thoughts

I was watching biggest loser tonight and in the show they bring in Jillian's mom. She is a therapist of some sort and people started talking about when the weight problems started and everything. Saturday I was at my parents and was looking though all my school pictures. I noticed that between my 6th and 7th grade photos is when I hit puberty and started putting on weight. I remember always having a problem with my boobs and how big they are. I also know that I have a serious problem with attention from males or I guess it is more unwanted attention from males that I am afraid of. I am now thinking that maybe I started to gain weight when I hit puberty and just didn't stop or try to stop it because I wanted something to cover my boobs or at least hide them from being noticed. We were also at a party on Saturday and someone noticed that my sister was "so developed". I wanted to scream "mine are bigger". When realistically they are, but one wouldn't be able to tell because of all the extra weight I have hiding them. They just blend in. Maybe this is why I am so self-sabataging of my weight loss and goals. I seem to be ok for a few weeks then fall off the wagon and only to start over again a few weeks later. Maybe the comments my sister gets (these weren't the first one about her big boobs) make me so afraid to lose weight and show off my body because I am afraid of the comments I will get.

I also am nervously awaiting my test results for my thyroid. I had my levels tested on Thursday and am waiting to see if I have hypothyroidism and maybe that is why I haven't lost the weight I think I should have. I have been really trying to lose weight since Oct. and have only lost 10 lbs. I know it is a slow process but it shouldn't be this slow. I have officially not lost any weight since the first of the year. I was down 3 lbs but am now back up those 3 lbs. Anyways, back to the show...will comment more later if something else strikes me.